GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
