I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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