arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize