The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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