But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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