I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
