so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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