I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I cut my penus on the lid.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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