You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
