Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
