My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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