Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
