you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
