At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
