I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
