Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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