This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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