I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize