woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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