hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
