It's Friday. Sex?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
