It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
