So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
