Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
