just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
