i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
