Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
