At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
