No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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