im six kinds of drunk right now
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize