I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
