yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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