Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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