Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
