i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Randomize
