Screwed.edu
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
that is very illegal...i love you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
