So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
