I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize