Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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