it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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