was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
