I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
