We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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