Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
