My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
