She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
