I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize