and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
