Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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