yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize