it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize