I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize