you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
