Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
