Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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