How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
