now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
