he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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