Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we made out on top of his cat.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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