His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
